8 Weeks Old / Guilt-Free Confession

8 weeks old! In a few days you'll be 2 months old. Since you were born on the 30th and there aren't 30 days in February, we're going with the 28th on this one.

In the last few weeks you have definitely been smiling REAL smiles and we've gotten the occasional giggle. It's more of an excited yell but to us it's giggling.
And oh  boy are you getting talkative. I have so much fun playing copy-cat and mimicking your sounds. You seem to enjoy it too.
We've been practicing tummy time more often (like we're supposed to be - oops) and your neck is certainly getting stronger. You don't always like when I strand you on your tummy but you're lifting your head up more and more and for longer. You still like looking at lights and objects that light reflects off of. You also like when we click our tongues and smack our lips. Probably because you've discovered this past week that you can smack your lips too. It's cute and hilarious when we wake up in the morning to the sound of you smacking your lips as if to say, "c'mon, guys, I'm awake and hungry and ready to play!"  

Believe me when I say that we love you more than you will know - until you have a child of your own.

Now, let me confess something to you.

The other day on Facebook, I saw a list on a friend's wall that suggested 10 Ways to really help a new mom (click HERE to read the list. It's fantastic).
While pretty much every item on that list rings true (with regards to the napping, I disappeared from a get-together-to-see-the-baby we had before you were even a week old to crawl into bed and sleep while everyone oohed and ahhed over you. I recommend every new parent do this), I felt like #8 was included on that list just for me. There have been only a few times I have been away from you for more than half an hour and those times involved me going to the grocery store.
I enjoyed grocery shopping long before you were conceived but now... it's almost like going to the spa.
It's time where I can stroll through the aisles without worrying about whether you're still asleep in your car seat, whether your car seat is really safely balanced in the shopping cart, whether I'll be able to grab items if I also have to hold and bounce you.

Yesterday, your dad watched you while I went grocery shopping, got us lattes from Starbucks, and spent $75 on wine at the LCBO. I treated myself to two bottles over $18 among others because gosh darn it, I'm worth it.

It made me realize that while I don't feel like things have changed, my life has changed dramatically.

My "me time" used to be all the time. With the exception of when I was working, I could sit back and watch tv when I wanted to, lay back and devour book after book, spend lots of time in the kitchen making dinner, wandering around the neighbourhood and stopping in to stores to browse and shop. When friends invited me to their parties I only had to check to make sure I wasn't working. When we didn't feel like cooking, your dad and I would say hey, let's go out for dinner. And we'd head out.

Now I watch tv when you're napping. When you're awake Im busy making noises to make you smile and bouncing you around. The TV is background noise.
Now I sneak in reading time when you take your morning nap, before we've abandoned the bedroom for the living room.
Now I throw ingredients into the slow cooker while you're happily occupied looking at things in your bouncy chair (this has promise as you're able to sit for longer in your chair now before you start fussing).
Now if I want to go out I plan it carefully to make sure we're not out for too long and to make sure I can get your stroller in because carrying that car seat around is not an option. It is heavy. And honestly, sometimes it's just easier to stay in than get you ready to go, get you into the car seat, into the car, then out of the car, etc. Especially since it's been -20 degrees most days. I imagine this would have been a slightly easier process if it were spring/summer.
And going out with friends? If it's a day party, yes. An evening? Pass up an opportunity to go to bed at 10 pm if you go to sleep earlier than 11:30? No way.
Now if your dad and I want to go out for dinner we have to plan ahead and make sure someone is available to watch you. We went out for dinner on Valentine's day and I'll be honest... by hour 3 I was itching to get back home to see you.

But boy was it nice to go on a date with your dad. We both got to eat our food at the same time! This is hard to do at home when one of us is holding you and keeping you happy.

It seems like the days of just making plans on the fly, or picking up and heading out are over for awhile.  

Being a new parents seems to mean giving up your time to be selfish. Not entirely but that freedom to be self-indulgent is certainly reduced.

I miss my selfish time but honestly?

I'd give it all up,  a hundred times over, to spend hours making you smile.