Tuesday, March 10, 2015

10 Weeks / The Most Important Message

A good friend recently had a daughter of her own and it got me reminiscing about the day my little bug was born and how wonderful life is now she's in the world (Thanks Elton John for the sentiment).

But the first few weeks were not all rainbows and sunshine. I cried almost every day over various things. I cried the first time I looked in the mirror at my no-longer-pregnant body. I was going to miss those kicks and wiggles that were only for me. I cried because I wondered if life had just changed for the worse. I cried because I dreaded the nighttime when it was dark and quiet and I was awake trying to keep my baby content. I cried because I felt like I was already failing my child because my milk took 5 days to come in and she was hungry.  

Then one night, laying on the couch in the dark living room at 3 am, watching a Kardashian marathon, a friend sent me a message asking how motherhood was going. She confessed that she, too, found it difficult to adjust to life with a newborn. She told me that it was normal to cry. And she told me the most important message we need to remember: 

You're doing a great job.

So I passed this message onto my friend because she too is now adjusting to a new way of life that will always have those days that feel long and difficult, and she needed to know. 

And we as parents need to pass that message along to others who are recovering from labour, who are exhausted, who are completely overwhelmed. The parents feeling alone at 3 am, as if they're the only person in the world awake with a hungry, crying baby. The parents feeling like there's no way they can raise a child. The parents who feel completely and utterly in over their heads.

Thank you to the mom's who have reminded me of this important message when I felt like I was failing.

Pass it on. 

We're doing a great job.

P.S. if you find yourself wondering if you're suffering with post-partum depression please also know that there is another important message: There is NO shame in asking for help. The strongest parents are the ones who take care of themselves too. 

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